Have you ever met a person, who with a few sentences captures your attention, grabs your heart and makes you want to say "YES!"
And you are not even sure what they are selling.
Those individuals know how to influence others - whether it is a learned skills or just who they are.
What I am talking about it not a smooth salesperson, an oh-so savvy marketer, or a charismatic speaker who will sell you anything and everything... no, this is a person who naturally gains your trust, is authentic (and if you are tired of hearing the word authentic, it may be because you have not experienced real authenticity... just saying), and has confidence in what they believe in when they share it with you.
They may not talk to you about becoming your client... they may simply tell you about themselves and their experiences... tell you a story from their life... and that is a great way to get to a level to build trust quickly... Sharing of themselves to put everyone on the same level of openness...
They may ask you questions and get this... really want to hear your answers. And if that isn't a great way to influence others... listening to them and wanting to listen to them... I don't know what is.
You may not realize this... but when someone demonstrates active listening skills to you, it increases your interest in them. When your interest in them increases, they find themselves more interested in what you have to say... and this is what brings the level of influence up between to people who start out as strangers.
Think about when you were attracted to someone. A boyfriend or girlfriend... what did you do? You acted interested in them, they acted interested in you... you learned about them, they learned about you... and the more you learned.. you were left with a decision. Do you want to know more about them and have them a part of your life... or do you want to let them go...
This same thing happens in the business world.
Often it is fake and just for the purpose of getting a client... but what about if you apply those skills... to create a real 'relationship' with someone, no matter if they will be a client of yours or not?
What would be the best case scenario and what would be the worst case scenario?
What are you doing right now? And is it working?
This week I had a number of opportunities to see this unfold before me and many others in several situations. The authentic people had the ability to influence others... whether it was with a message of their business, building a professional relationship with others, or building a personal relationship that can help the building of their business... the authentic 'influencers' won out over the ones who were just there to gather cards and make sales.
The authentic 'influencers' left people wanting more, feeling grateful, and emulating those feelings of realness to others.
I received a message after someone saw me at one event and I wrote a note on someone's Facebook post supporting her and an upcoming event. They also saw a post I wrote for another person which was shared to a few other pages/groups/newsfeeds. Here is what they wrote me...
"Dannie, I read your two posts on Facebook for "M" and "K". Why did you write those posts? Let me back up because that sounds like I don't believe what you wrote. It is not that. I don't understand why you would write something to help their business out instead of promoting your own. I am not judgeing you. I am confused. Why did you write things to support their business and not your own. How will that help your business? Can you explain it to me? BTW, I loved what you wrote and it felt honest and not fluff. But why?"
Here is what I wrote back to her.
"I wrote what I did because it was on my heart to write those words. I had talked to "M" in the bathroom about her upcoming event and I saw how much it meant to her to hear the feedback from her first event. When I saw her post on Facebook, I was replying immediately before really thinking about it and then I saw her response. I knew she really appreciated that feeling of support from someone who isn't a Facebook friend. I could see the influence my words had on her in addition to the speaker that motivated her to take that risk. Those are positive influences that women and men crave... especially women. Having another woman support you in such a way that builds you up and allows you to take another risk... I could not resist. The other post "K"... same thing. I wrote from my heart what I felt needed said. She too felt the power of my heartfelt words. How on earth can you keep those thoughts to yourself when you can influence others to continue to do what they are doing... knowing they make an impact on others. My purpose was not to make myself look good... it was to make them know how good I felt having experienced what they offer. That to me is what really makes a person an influence over others... the motivation behind their actions and how they make others feel after."
The response I got from her is why this post is written...
"Dannie, I have read many of the things you write on Facebook in your group. You always try to build others up and encourage them. That is great. I took advantage of your free success plan template today. I saw a bit more about what you do on your website. I can see why you take the approach of building others up and what you mean by leverage your time. After reading those posts to "M" and "K", your group posts, and your comment back to me, I can see how you influence others and make them want to know more about you and what you do. I want to try that in my business going forward. Thanks so much."
So, here is a good question to end on... do you influence others?